my brain

So, today I sit here withering in idol thought. I am so tired of my brain in nonstop motion. I wish to just have things come to a zen. I am troubled by the constant reminder of being friendless. As I linger on such sites as facebook and myspace, I sit and wait for the notification box to light or to be messaged from my inbox. Everyday, nothing. Although in content I have plenty listed as friends, but in substance nothing from them comes. It is sad to exsist in this world with really no one other than yourself. Yes I love my children, but you can not fill their young minds with the negativity that surrounds you. I can't turn to them for adult conversation. Yes, there is the family, but why burden them, when they themselves have plenty of their own issues to deal with. Plus, sad to say, we all are not the closest of siblings. I am lost, alone and just exsisting. I want to live, I want to be happy, I want to be loved and to give love. I want to stop this viscious cycle that I am in. I want true friends, if such a relationship truly exsists. I want people to stop being phony and inconsiderate and actually give a crap. I want to have someone to confide in ahhhhhhhh I want out of this funk. Someone give me a new brain.